Stuart Heritage's Blog

What? The Apprentice candidates are making flatpack furniture this week? Ikea-n't believe it! (Stuart Heritage would like to apologise for this dreadful pun).

Florida is (probably) riddled with giant snakes that (almost definitely) murder children and they're (possibly) about to start breeding and take over (some of) the world (perhaps). Stuart Heritage watches the documentary that explains all this.

The candidates make some beer, but it still isn't enough to drown out their staggering ineptitude. Stuart Heritage looks on aghast.

Stuart Heritage watches the first episode of this year's Apprentice. Then he sighs. Then he despairs at the state of humanity in general. The Apprentice! Woo!

Thirty seconds into Swinger Wives, it’ll dawn on you that all the wife-swappers are bad-haired, sad-eyed dullards who wear horrible clothes, go to godawful nightclubs and kiss like 13-year-old boys.

If you’ve ever wished that someone would compile a nightmarish, graphic, desperately brazen 999-style reconstruction show featuring each of the world's most bizarre deaths, this is your lucky day. 1000 Ways To Die is here, and it is ridiculous.